Rant time! 

I hate how you make me feel. My stomach starts to leap and do flips when I see you around. My heart flutters and skips a beat when you smile because it is big and warm enough to break through to my heart. And then I see her. The reason that you are smiling. The girl that makes your heart race. The girl that claims you for her own. Then my stomach feels like it is made of lead. It drops down to my toes and suddenly I can’t even move. My heart hardens almost as fast as you melted it. I fell so hard for you. I opened up and told you first just like you told me. I guess you just thought that just solidified our friendship. Did it even cross your mind when I said it that maybe YOU were the one wanted? That you are the one I think of as I drift off to sleep, praying that you will fly with me off to my dreams? I have risked so much to be with you! And now that I am here, you don’t even know that I’m around anymore. I threw everything from the old me away just to be with you! But you are with her. And… I don’t think I can handle it. This constant love hate that I feel towards you. It kills me to hate you, but I can’t love you when you are with her. It wouldn’t be right. So I guess I will just have to sit back and feel my heart rip to shreds every time I am around you, and hope that someone else comes around to pick up my pieces and take them away for their own. Away from you. I really wish it were anyone but you.

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